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Post by Yvondith on Mar 7, 2012 13:33:31 GMT -5
Being harassed about going back to college... scares the hell outta me. I had nightmares for years about failing school, and here they want me to go back yet again? I dunno if I can handle it.
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Mar 11, 2012 11:38:46 GMT -5
So far 2012 has been a lazy ass year. I need to fix this shit cause I'm slipping. I have not been exercising as much as I should be, I'm not being as careful with what I'm eating and I'm finding I am drinking more on the weekends than I used to. Its almost every weekend now. Before it would be like once a month and I wouldn't get carried away.....for the most part....heh. Long story short, I have not been taking care of myself as well as I should be. I've gained a few pounds back. Thankfully it hasn't been much but I need to get shit back on track asap before I lose control and gain everything back. For fuck sakes, a couple weeks ago, for my best friend's birthday, we won't out with a few friends at Brewsters (amazing beers there) got hammered then went back to his house to smoke pot. I don't smoke pot all that often. And when I do its always from pipe or paper. They decided to bring out the bong. I've never smoked from a bong before and with the water you put into it it purifies the pot so it hits you twice as fast, twice as hard. And with the little amount I smoke I have little to no resistance to it so I was fucking blitzed out of my skull. It was....a little too much for me. I walked home and could barely get back on my own. Luckily my birthday friend walked with me. I might have got lost in my own neighborhood, that's how bad it was. Holy shit!
So anyway, I need to stop all this. I need to get back on track and start taking better care of myself again. Get to exercising every day, eating healthy again and sticking to drinking once a month again. And no more smoking from a bong. I think this whole thing just has to do with me being severely lonely here. My relationship I had last year only lasted four months and it ended right when I was really starting to fall in love. I was really starting to feel some real happiness and then, I lost it within a blink of an eye. I never fooled myself into thinking a relationship with her would last forever. But I thought it could give some short term happiness and love in my life for at least a little while. And then when it was to end, I'd have the fulfillment I was looking for, and the relationship experience to go out there and find it again. But, nope. I was denied all that. I'm not blaming her for it, but with the amount of stress it caused me I seriously do regret ever asking her out. I've been so stressed out lately. I don't know how to go out and find someone else. I want that fulfillment of being in a loving relationship but I don't know how to get it. And I wasn't in that last one long enough to learn anything about myself or romance in general.
So in short, that's likely the reason I have not been taking care of myself as much like I was. My self worth has plummeted, its effecting my habits and my work too. I'm not doing as good a job at work as I used to. I'm severely behind on paper work and I have everything so cluttered and unorganized. I go to work every day feeling like shit. I want to turn things around but I feel so trapped within my own living situation. Everything is fucked!
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Mar 11, 2012 23:17:53 GMT -5
So, uhm. A little off topic from my dramatic bull shit. But anyone here who watches The Walking Dead, how fucked up was it with a certain character dying this episode. Was totally not expecting that! Hoooooly shit!
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 12, 2012 1:27:25 GMT -5
Bad Norfy. Sounds like you need a spankin. ;D But in all seriousness, I sorta know how you feel. I'm really, really yearning for male companionship. A friend, a lover, a husband. I feel really quite lonely, even though I live with the extremely lively Granny. It's been on my mind a lot here lately, and it's really bothering me. Causing a big flare up in my depression too. I want to love, and want to feel loved. I didn't get that in my last relationship. I didn't feel like I was truely wanted. But I know I can't expect any sort of relationship in my current state. Though my mother just tried to set me up with another one of her pill popping buddies... I wish she'd stop that shit. It just upsets me even more. I'm sorta slipping on the diet, but I'm still losing. I gotta start tracking again, and read my damned books! My friend I'm dieting with, Gitte, has been sorta slipping too. She goes out to eat with her husband every Friday, and we get weighed on Saturday, so things don't go as well. I did manage to lose 4.4 pounds last weigh in though. I'm back to 25 pounds lost, In other news, it looks like I may be going back to college in the fall. Do I want to? Hell no. But Granny, Timothy, Chakoteh, Dejibo, and Triunid all seem to think it's a marvelous idea. Granny especially. So I gotta try really hard this time, or I'm gonna let a lot of people down. I also gotta figure out funding for this too... Also, I have no idea what I'm going to take. Timothy wants me to learn programming/coding of some sort. From what I understand, Timothy is taking a girl to the prom. I'm so proud of my little brother. ;D My uh... uterine... problems are calming down. Granny is calming down too, she was driving me crazy over it. It is probably stress related, because I'm going through a lot of it here lately. I damn near had a nervous breakdown the other day, I thought I was gonna get carted off to the looney ward for another week.
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 12, 2012 18:32:08 GMT -5
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 14, 2012 16:14:44 GMT -5
Bad news, we have to find new homes for Sugar and Lola. Regulations, etc, and we can't get any leniency. I hate this, I love Sugar so much, it's gonna kill me to have to part with her. I just hope both cats can get adopted into good homes.
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Mar 14, 2012 21:26:15 GMT -5
Damn, that sucks. Sorry to hear that.
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 17, 2012 19:57:16 GMT -5
I had a nice day with Gitte today. We went to a local coffee shop to eat brunch, and visited some shops on main street Hendersonville. I gotta get out more, I so enjoy it when I do get to go out... sans Granny.
Granny has been absolutely crushed by them telling her to get rid of Lola. We still have the cats, but we know what we have to do. Granny has been super depressed, and it's been very hard on me with her like this. She literally hated the entire world yesterday, with me included.
I lost .4 pounds this week, making me exactly 350. I've lost a little over 25 pounds now, total. Need to get more serious about the diet though if I expect to lose more. And exercise more!
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Mar 21, 2012 21:27:37 GMT -5
Gitte? That is an interesting name. How do you pronounce that?
My friend at work is into working out like I am and he's also a gamer nerd and into RPGs. One thing we both do while working out is motivating ourselves by thinking of our workout in RPG terms. For instance. While on the treadmill or doing some sort of cardio we call it "leveling up our endurance". Same for when we do weight lifting. We are leveling up our strength stat. And I like to refer to Gatorade as my stamina potion (although I don't drink gatorade often. I prefer water).
Is this method of working out nerdy? Yes. Extremely! But it works well for us and makes it bit more fun. ;D
EDIT>> Oh, and I like to drink a shot glass of pomegranate juice in the morning. Its my daily Elixir! XD
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 21, 2012 23:35:49 GMT -5
Geet-tah. She is from Denmark, so... She's such a sweet person. I consider myself blessed to have met her. I think she looks at me and sees a lot of her son, and doesn't want me to take the same path as he did. Plus she is utterly baffled as to how I handle Granny on a daily basis. >.> That's a cute way of looking at your workout. Nerdy, yes, but fun. Wish I had a local gaming buddy, besides Tim. But Triunid won't get his ass over here already. XD Gonna start walking more soon, myself. We end up just chatting while we walk, so time flies. I think we may be walking Gitte's son's dog, Miracle. I looove that dog, and she loves me. She looks like she has some cocker spaniel in her, so I'm smitten.
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Mar 22, 2012 19:53:58 GMT -5
Its a neat name. Next time you see her, tell her Norfy approves her name. ;D I have come to a decision. I've lived with my mom for too long. It is time to move out. I was initially planning on saving up to put a down payment on a home but that would take me at least five years. I can't wait that long. I am going to work my ass off at my job and save up but I want to beat out of here by spring or summer time 2013. I will rent. It is much more realistic. I am 27 and still living at home. I lack certain life skills that most people develop at 18 or whenever they first move out. Its time I gave myself those life skills. I have a year to save up. It will be good to have money banked so I will be prepared for any financial costs that I am not used to. So, yeah. That's my plan.
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 22, 2012 22:53:06 GMT -5
I shall do that. We went for a walk today around the circle I live on. I'm getting better. It was nice to get away from the ever depressive Granny, who was spewing negativity all day long. It's a good plan. I wanna be able to do the same. I'm going to lose about 25 more pounds and try to find employment somewhere. I need to save up my money, for when something happens to Granny, I'll be able to afford my own place. I don't think I can move before then though, she is more and more needy every day. They're going to do a total shoulder replacement on her. She is still on the fence, because she seems to believe I'm a retard and completely unable to take care of myself. She would have to stay in rehab for a month or longer, it's a nasty procedure.
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Post by Yvondith on Mar 29, 2012 8:23:39 GMT -5
Been walking around the block at least once a day now. It totally whips my ass, but I'm glad to be out getting some exercise.
I should be back on my diet now. I got tons of healthy food at the store, and will probably "graze" all day on that stuff.
Hoping to actually lose weight this week.
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Post by Yvondith on Apr 1, 2012 2:48:14 GMT -5
I lost ... 0.2 pounds. What the fuuuck. I was mad. I busted ass all week walking, and was pretty good with the diet. So, we finally gave up Sugar and Lola on Tuesday. I sobbed putting Sugar in the car, and I still get teary eyed just thinking about my precious little girl. I miss her so much. But, hopefully someone else will adopt her, and they will get to enjoy my sweet baby. I have no doubt Lola will be adopted, and fast. She is a gorgeous, solid white cat with long hair, pink ears and nose... who could resist her? Fred is obviously, depressed. He's never been the only cat in the home before, and he's become extremely clingy. If I go outside he sits at the door or window and wails, pleads, and cries until I come back inside. I feel so sorry for him. But, he made a new playmate from the school next door. The owner sometimes comes over to pet him, and he just loooves that. Or Gitte and her son come over and dote on him. He's such a ham. He's a total momma's boy though. I'm working on getting my life back in order. I'm going to try to lose 25 more pounds and find employment. Gonna save up all my earnings towards a new place for when Granny passes. Unfortunately relations between her and I have been strained lately. She's in so much pain, and has so much anxiety that she's damn near impossible to tolerate. She's angry constantly. She whines constantly. She treats me like I'm a 3 year old. I know it's a part of her mental condition but still, it's been hard to deal with. I can only hope to just try to keep her happy with the housework to calm her down.
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Apr 1, 2012 8:40:18 GMT -5
Losing weight is not easy. There have been many times on my road where I would bust ass for weeks strait, exercising non stop and eating healthy and lose fuck all. Then after about three weeks of staying the same weight I would finally drop a single pound. After that single pound I would continue to drop at a steady pace but that little plateau would take forever to get over. All I can tell you is not get discouraged and keep plugging away. Weight loss and getting in shape is a difficult thing to accomplish and it does take a long time. But once you lose it all you realize what an accomplishment it was. All the hard work and effort will be worth it when you look at your sexy, fit body in the mirror. Trust me. ;D
It took me about a year and a half to lose the weight I did. That was about 100 lbs. After the weight loss, I started lifting weights and even with that its taken me about a year to notice any kind of visual change in my appearance. I'm still not where I want to be with weight lifting but after a year I do see some small but nice changes in my body. Arms are a bit bigger than last year, chest isn't quite so man boob-ish. Another two years and I will be able to hold a small woman on each shoulder and carry them around. And they'll be all like "Ooooh, Norfy, you're so strong and muscular." And I'll be like "Yeah, I know!" Totally non egotistical like. Just sayin'.
Ahem! Point is, its hard work, it takes a long ass time but it will be worth it in the end. Don't get discouraged by small losses or no losses.
Ye know, you coulda given your kittys to me. Mail em on over. You could come up to Canada every so often to visit them too. And while you were here we could bust out some Mario Kart or whatever. ;D
Mario Kart rules!
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