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Post by dejibo on May 28, 2011 8:11:57 GMT -5
back from vaca. slept 12 hours. I had a blast! I walked my little legs off. stuck to my diet (believe it or not) and got to see many great things. Im glad it was a mini vacation, and not a full week. I would be trashed. I think next month we are going to stay at a casino in Ct for a night or two. We have vowed to get the hell out of here more often.
The cats are like velcro. lily wont let me out of her sight, but Jack is just like "oh, its you....um...did you go somewhere? FEED ME!" I guess he tried to trick cat sitter into extra food, but she was warned. He hated the way she prepped the food, so he didnt eat it. He looks like he lost a half pound or something. It will do him good.
HOT! stormy! wild weather up here. We are not used to being in the 80s and 90s till august and then only for 2 weeks. We put the ACs in the windows already. Thats sad for NH.
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Post by dejibo on Jun 6, 2011 8:31:10 GMT -5
Double post for me...wahoo! I lost 5 pounds so far on my diet. its been work, but I am feeling sooooo much better. I think I have lost a total of 30 since I saw stephanie last. the first 20 were all about medicine. it just fell off after I stopped taking those stupid shots. The last ten have been work! I have done Weight Watcher and I am thrilled! its been much easier than I thought it would be. They have Smart Ones dinners or Weight Watchers TV dinners that are easy to heat in the microwave. !00 calorie snacks and im all set. I have been walking around the block. Fruit and veggies are free on my deit so I can eat as much as I choose. Corn and PEas have a cost to them, but they are high starch/carb stuff. Im thrilled with how much better I am starting to feel. I must do something to get these headaches off of me. Making plans to go to Connecticut and do a dinner package. Bobby FLay or Todd English will come to your table and personally sign their cook book. YUM! food. Jack the cat needed shots for 4 days in a row. that upset me greatly, but he seems to be turning the corner. What is everyone else up to? no one posts here.
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Jun 6, 2011 18:35:56 GMT -5
Things are starting to go down hill with the girlfriend thingy. There is no drama or anything and we still get along great. I just don't get to see her much. Like, its becoming much rarer that we get together. I understand she has a teenage daughter and can't see me as much as either of us would like but its getting a little ridiculous. For instance I suggested we see each other after work on Mondays for about 45 minutes to an hour. Just so we can at least see each other once a week cause we usually go on a date every second, sometimes every third, weekend. But now she tells me she can't do Mondays anymore cause she needs to make her daughter supper. The daughter is 13 and I'd think she could make her own damn dinner. Or at least wait a little longer for it. But I don't want to tell her that cause I don't want to sound like some ignorant guy with no kids telling her how to be a parent. So, as it stands now we see each other every second or third weekend and that is just not enough for me. That's almost like once or twice a month. I am thinking of just ending it here soon. It sucks cause we get along great but whats the point of being in a relationship if you rarely get to see each other. BLAH! >.<
What sucks the most is once I lose this relationship, where the hell am I gonna find another? I'm not that sociable and I don't go out all that often. I'm a nice guy, I know that, I just don't know where to meet people. Fucking hell, shit can get complicated sometimes!
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Post by Yvondith on Jun 6, 2011 22:57:22 GMT -5
The daughter is 13 and I'd think she could make her own damn dinner. AMEN. I was cooking at age 9. I understand how you feel. I have no idea how to go about meeting people. I don't do bars, I don't do church, and I don't do social activities in general. I've given up on the dating scene. I hope things improve for you, I really do.
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Post by Office Ninja on Jun 7, 2011 1:35:10 GMT -5
Hmm, not to take her side Norfy, but the fact that she wants to make her daughter dinner is good parenting in my eyes... I suggest asking if you can take them both out to dinner, or joining them for dinner at their house. If you want to be in her life, you need to be in the kids life too. =P
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Jun 7, 2011 6:48:56 GMT -5
Good parenting? Wouldn't good parenting be teaching your teenage daughter how to do things for herself? Especially for just ONE fucking day of the week? Secondly, I was never asked to meet her daughter yet anyway. I'm sorry, Kik but I disagree with everything you said in that post.
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Post by dejibo on Jun 7, 2011 6:52:34 GMT -5
Bravo! kik! I agree totally. The last thing we need is a UNsupervised 13 y/o girl on the scene so that we can have yet another unplanned pregnancy or a screwed up woman wandering the earth. Little girls NEED a male and a female role model in their lives. Can you become that? Are there things that you can do FOR them? Fixes around the house? take out the trash? wash the car? mow the lawn? Bring over a DVD all can watch? take them to the movies? dinner? rollerskating? Make the kid part of your realtionship since you cant remove her from her mother, and you will be impressed with how generous a fullfilled momma can be. She will be much more likely to want to go do things if she feels as if her childs needs are met. I hate to be a bitch, but if you are just waiting for this childs daddy to take her on off weekends, so you and momma can run off and humpitty hump, then dump her now. you have at least another 7 years of this child not just wanting, but needing her mother to be there for her. To build a foundation of a strong confident woman that can not only take care of herself, but in later life be there to take care of momma too. So, if you want to invest into this family, then get off your duff and become helpful. If you just want to be a playmate, then you need to pick a single woman with no kids. Sorry to be harsh, yoiu know I think you are amazing. Please dont be hard on yourself. There are tons of ways to meet girls. Match.com church. volunteer at the shelters, and soup kitchens. take some college classes. Be brave and ask the coffee house girl out or the book store girl out. Have a card printed with your phone number on it, so you can just hand it out, without having to scribble it on a napkin. Go to game fesitvals, or events of things that YOU like to do. Ask your guy friends to set you up. so what if 3 dates are a train wreck if #4 is a winner! List your good qualities about yourself. You are a good friend. you are honest. you can be trusted. you are friendly. you have morals...then tell yourself everyday that you ARE a catch! Whether you tell yourself that you are a loser, or you tell yourself that you are a winner, you are cementing that in your brain for the future. I would rather be the winner. Pep talk over....puts away soap box. ...
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Post by Norfy the Walrus on Jun 7, 2011 7:04:03 GMT -5
Are you guys fucking retarded? 45 minutes to an hour on MONDAYS ONLY (and the odd weekend) is not going to get her daughter pregnant nor is she going to starve. What the hell!?
And, as I said, I have not even been asked to meet her daughter yet anyway. Not only that but we don't see each other much at all I'm still just getting to know the mother here. Don't you think that's a bit much to still be learning things about the relationship then all of a sudden try and be friends with the kid too? Don't you think thats a little much considering we have not spent much time together at all?
And sex isn't the point of this. I'm not saying she needs to abandon her daughter. All I am saying is I rarely get to see her. We have not had sex nor am I even ready for that. Ofcourse naturally since I am being disagreed with thats obviously all I am in this for.
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Post by Yvondith on Jun 7, 2011 8:42:03 GMT -5
Uh, I'm with Norfy on this. The girl is 13, she's old enough to be left at home for a short time while her mother does things she wants to do. The child might need some level of independence. I swear that's what wrong with me, Granny never let me out of her sight for half a second, and never let me do things for myself (besides cook). Now, I am nearing 30, and cannot drive or hold down employment. Let the girl stay at home by herself for an hour, maybe microwave a TV dinner, or cook something simple. It might give her a sense of accomplishment, or boost her self esteem, by doing something on her own. It's only for an hour.
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Post by dejibo on Jun 7, 2011 8:49:40 GMT -5
Then I misunderstood the arrangment. I personally would NOT leave my 13 year old boy by himself, but would arrange for a sitter if the engagement was important to me. If you are important to her she will make room for you. Either to invite you over or invite you out. Sounds like you know where this one is heading, but its hard to let go.
I wish you the best of luck. ((hugs))
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Post by Yvondith on Jun 7, 2011 8:53:47 GMT -5
I don't see anything wrong with being left at home alone for 1 hour at age 13. I love Granny to absolute bits and pieces but damn I wish she'd raised me to be more independent. And this is totally gonna chap Dej's ass here, but my mother wasn't so horrible of a mother after all. Sure, she did some really nasty things to me, like leave me with an infant while she went off to pork men at age 13, which I'll never forgive, but some of the things she let me do, like care for Tim at that age helped me mature. At 13, I was helping care for an infant after I got home from school. I did my homework, and then my time was devoted to caring for Tim. I do not regret that. My mother also taught me to respect my elders, even if it is a case of do as I say, not as I do. Between Granny and my Mother, I have grown up to be a strong willed individual, with high moral standards and a healthy respect for others, WITHOUT the aid of religion. I am proud of who I am today. Except the whole can't drive no job thing. Anyways, independence can do wonders for one's self esteem. Most girls aged 13 need a lot of help in that department anyways. Anyways, rant over.
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Post by Yvondith on Jun 7, 2011 9:05:37 GMT -5
Oh lemme give this advice too.
While I agree with you, I would be careful about trying to nudge her into spending more time with you. Please please please avoid sounding like you are giving her parenting advice. That might, and probably will, invoke the fiery wrath of an angry goddess down on you like you've never seen before in your life. For now, it's probably best just to see her when you can, and stand by her if she needs you. Sometimes being a great friend can lead to something more.
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Post by dejibo on Jun 7, 2011 9:33:54 GMT -5
going to try to say this with restraint and respect. I do NOT feel like Stephs mom was a complete screw up. Yes, many things she did made me scratch my head in disgust, but when you were with her, you were up at a reasonable hour. participated in the family, including meals, and events. your house was clean, even if you were the only one cleaning it. your home work was done, and more was expected of you. You also went to bed at a reasonable hour, and had goals, objectives and a self of accomplishment. Your momma did many things that scared me, but she also did many things that had it been allowed to continue were providing you with a good foundation.
Granny needs to be needed, and therefore kept you needy. It made her feel good to have you depend on her. She raised you conmpletely backwards from what she raised her own kids. She raised us to be on our own as quickly as we could be. We all had jobs, DLs, responsibilities and were told quickly how rough and cruel this world is, get out in it. She kept you sheilded, blinded and blocked. Quick to say "go back to bed baby, dont worry about it." Granny makes many excuses for you, and doesnt give you the credit that you deserve for the things you can do. She is quick to point out the things you cant do, and I think that gives your self esteem a hit. I love that old woman, but I disagree with her on many things.
As for religeon, she didnt raise any of us with religeon. Neither did poopsie, and yet, here I am a religeous woman. Charlie is a religeous man, and doug prays before he eats. I am not sure what your mom believes in or doesnt believe in. I dont think religeon pushed you one way or the other. I think its just part of who you are, and what your belief system is. Just as I am accepted for my reliegeous views, you are accepted for your lack of them. its a non subject. Religeon is something I found outside of her home, and inside of myself. I have more questions than answers, but my beliefs, views and opinions make ME feel good, strong stable, and keep me moving forward. I am going to be truly pissed off if there is no judgement day for the likes of Hitler and Bin Laden and Charles Manson.
I would not leave my son alone at 13 because he would have burned the house down! he was a rambunctious boy who was quick to find trouble, and quick to make it worse. There are children that are perfectly able to be left alone at 10 and others you cant take your eyes off them till they are 30. I dont know this womans child and therefore shouldnt hazard a guess about her stability. He needs to talk honestly with her and find out where they stand.
As for you Ms STeph. I believe in you. I believe that you can do better. I believe that you should do better. I believe that you should tell the world to BACK OFF and then get up and do what you need to do to take good care of YOU. If you are able to support yourself, take care of your own needs, then the rest of the world can go screw themselves. yes?
And with that, I am going to leave the stage, and wuv my kitties.
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Post by Yvondith on Jun 7, 2011 10:16:10 GMT -5
OK, ya got me, I burned down the house at age 16. But I was on a lot of nasty medications that made me totally space out. Still haven't forgave myself for it though. You do have a point though, I am assuming all children are well behaved. Yeah right. Some kids aren't fit to be left along at that age, but girls tend to be more responsible than boys. Sorry fellas! Granny seems to be fairly religious. I hear "TEH BIBLE SEZ" all the time outta her. I was made to go to Sunday school for a while, and did not enjoy it. For a long time I believed I was sinful for not fully believing in what the bible says, but I've embraced my views as an adult. But I have full respect for others beliefs, and their right to believe it. I'm even nice to the witnesses when they come knocking at my door at 8 am. Some kitty wuvvins sounds like a good idea.
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Post by dejibo on Jun 7, 2011 10:56:05 GMT -5
OMG I completely forgot that...Im sorry. my saying MY child would have burned down the house had NOTHING to do with you and your story. I feel horrible now for saying that. Im sorry
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